Firsts and Last's Rachel's POV
by annalucindaberry
Summary: i wrote this story from Quinn's POV a few weeks ago, so here's Rachels.. I doubt its as good.. Please read Quinn's POV first! it makes sense that way.. a whole lot of firsts and that one last thanks : dedicated to my quinn xxx


**AN- so I a story a few week's ago from Quinn's POV.. ermm this is not as emotional or as long as that because I DOUBT i'll be able to write something like that again.. but this is just a little drabble from Rachel's POV.. as ALWAYS this is dedicated to my beautiful amazing muse, my quinn. i love you x**

You watch her sleeping, not in that creepy way, just in ... awe.

Rachel Berry speechless, it's something a lot of people believe to be a myth, but not her, not really because she makes you speechless most days, in the simplest of way's but she manages too.

Her hair's pulled back so you can see all her features, even though her eyes are hidden you know they're there, beautiful hazel eyes that sparkle when she's excited about something, her nose, that perfect nose, with a tiny stud in from when she had her skank phase but was too nostalgic to get rid of the piercing completely, the nose you wished you was born with, even though she say's your perfect the way you are, pale pink lips; kissable and soft. Her porcelain skin just so smooth, you let your tan fingers glide up her arm gently, remembering every touch you've had, every encounter. The past few years rush to you, and you get out of the bed quietly, and sit on the floor, she always finds it cute when you do that, like a child, but it's how you think, you let your head rest against her wardrobe and let the past rush to you.

You remember everything, which she hate's, like it was almost yesterday.

You watch a pair of dark, hooded hazel eye's stare at you while you stand in the auditorium. You're on the stage and she's sat in the third row, just off the centre by 3 chairs, your captivated by these eyes, intrigued even. You turn to face your cast mate and you feel the eyes bore into you, deep, like they're piercing your skin.

"Does she hate me?" You ask Blaine, he turns to face who you're gesturing to and laughs.

"Who? Quinn?" You nod, "No, she just, watches people." He shrugs his shoulders and proceeds to tell you about his date with Kurt causing you to laugh, you catch this 'Quinn' staring at you again and you bite your lip confused as she quickly diverts her gaze. After rehearsal's finish you quickly rush back on stage to find her and speak to her, why you don't know but you know you need to, but she's gone, your heart sinks in your chest a little and you head home.

You keep looking at her, staring even, Blaine catches you and so does Kurt, confronting you about this eye contact thing both of you have but you ignore their comments. Then about a week into rehearsal's you finally catch up with her one day.

"Hi I'm Rachel Berry" You stick out your hand and offer your best 1000 watt smile. The girl smirks back at you before shaking your hand. "I'm Quinn".

You begin asking the girl questions, but no reply. She's looking at you again though and you feel your skin tingle, you don't know what that means, but you liked it. You both part at the school doors, the promise of another conversation high in your eyes.

You enjoy speaking to Quinn. You find out she has the softest skin on her hands and that she gives the best cuddles, you also find out she lives with just her mom and that she plays the guitar but her real interest is music production, hence her working on the musical. You always try and keep her longer, just five or ten more minutes, but then like always you have to say goodbye, and it hurts, because you don't think you want to stop talking to her.

Finally you managed to obtain her number, and you feel proud of yourself, you imagine girl's like Quinn don't hand out their number to random boy's, why do you think of boy's, you just can't shake this feeling for her, but what isit, a _crush? _ and why would she ever like you back like that. Your Rachel, and she's Quinn; but hey now, when you say goodbye you don't really have to because you can text her, and sometimes the replies are enough to give you hope.

She's.. _gay_.. as in.. Quinn is gay. Like's girls. Females. Girls. You're a girl. You cannot believe she's told you this, and your sat with Kurt the biggest gossip ever so you can't even say anything to yourself. You reply with a smiley face and a cool. You can't ask a thousand questions because you know she won't appreciate it, and now you have to plan; because you've got to woo Quinn.

The flirting starts, with little text messages, and looks in the canteen or across a classroom. You bat your eyelashes more and begin dressing up a bit more for school. Your dad's question you but you say nothing. Then one night she call's you, your literally just about to fall asleep but you force yourself to stay awake, because you need to know.

"Do you like anyone" you barely whisper, you wait, your heart pounding in your chest fast and hard.

"You should sleep" her voice sounds cold and icy, like the old Quinn who stared at you with hooded eyes. Your heart sinks in your chest and a few tears escape, saying goodnight you both hang up, and you fall asleep clutching onto the pillow beside you.

**You.**

That's what you wake up to the next morning, you jump out of bed and scream, causing one of your dad's to run into the room terrified that something has happened to you, but you laugh and shake it off because Quinn likes YOU. Your heart pounds in your chest as you dance and get ready for school, and throughout the month things get better and better, you hold hands secretly when you're out with the group and she sends you sweet message's that she wouldn't ever admit to, but they're perfect.

You run after her scared, she's walking away at such force, but luckily you catch up and grab her arm, she turns around and shoot's daggers at Finn, who you was just talking to about the new musical, he was your current leading man, You whisper her name gently and she pulls you into a tight hold, and you smile into her, everything's okay. for now.

The feeling of her lips on yours still causes your heart to beat face, you touch your lip at the memory. Breadsticks. Bathroom. You sigh as you part from the lips that had just been pressed against yours before pushing your body back into her begging for entry and she wraps her arms around your waist and pulls you onto your tiptoes. You want to make the moment perfect, and ask her to be yours, but you wait, because deep down you know she's not ready yet.

"Rachel" you hear her scream and the footsteps behind you coming closer and closer, you push yourself to run faster as you wipe the tears streaming down your face, your heart hurts so bad, you swear you feel it breaking, pushing yourself to run faster but you can't anymore you give up and let her pull you into another one of those heart melting hold's, listening to her whisper the promise of soon, and in your head wondering if it was going to be soon enough.

She's on top of you, kissing you, every inch of tanned skin that your upper body has, before she pushes herself up onto her arms, taking in the sight of you, you look at her face, the beautiful hazel eyes sparkling at you and those pink kissable lips.

"I love you" it slips out, and your eyes freeze, giving away your emotions you try so desperately to hide.

"I love you too" she whispers before sealing it with a kiss.

You hate yourself. You hate her. You hate yourself more though, how could you do this to her, hurt her, but you had to, to save yourself, to save your feelings, but with him. The one person who could hurt her so much. You call and text her, begging for forgiveness, telling her how you feeling, but she yells back words of anger and hate, or won't reply at all, and then you give up, you regret everything, and you leave her be.

But you can't just leave her, and suddenly you're in the past, but you're not, this time your under her once more, kissing her and whispering the words that she longs to her and you need to say, and you hate yourself because you know you're running back to him the moment you leave, but you know you're running back because she isn't begging you to stay.

For two years this is the situation, until you cant lie anymore, not to him, not to her but most importantly to yourself, you end the lie you called a relationship, and run back to her, and at first you don't tell her, until the moment's right. She pauses for air and you look at her, then you shut your eyes. "I'm single" you whisper, unaware of the reaction you'll receive.

"I know" she whispers against your skin before kissing you passionately. She explores your body that night, and you do the same to her, kissing and tasting and sucking and touching every inch of each other, making love to each other. You're cuddled into her side, your two-toned leg's mixed together.

"Be mine" she whispers into your hair but you hear it, those two word's you've wanted to hear for years. You nod excitedly into her skin before whispering a soft confirmation and kissing her, starting another heated session of love making.

The relationship has its up's and downs, she's been there for everything. You watch her asleep again snapping back into reality as she turns to face you. A tear runs down your face as you remember the night that all your dreams came true, but the night that your heart also ripped in two.

"I got in" you yell down the line as you jump up and down with the letter in your hand, you did it, you got into NYADA, you're going to New York, you stop jumping, New York. Alone. Without her. and your heart rips in two, then she's screaming down the phone with you and that feeling sinks, but not low enough.

Your hand finds the charm bracelet you've been collecting charms for since you guys started dating. The apple. The apple she gave you the day you left. The apple that represented this moment. These moments. You look around the room, the brown walls(which you hate but she loves) calming your mood slightly, the white furniture setting off the room, clothes thrown about everywhere, shoes piled on top of each other. Then her, legs all over the place, arms everywhere. Sleeping peacefully as you sit there, you wipe another tear and smile. Each and every moment, no matter how much they hurt during the time, led to this moment right here, and through all the heart ache and pain, you would never change it, because otherwise you might not be with her. Not like this. You crawl across to your dresser and pull out a dark box.

Opening the box a beautiful white gold ring stares back at you, simple, elegant and beautiful. Like her. And you're waiting for the right time. But it's soon you can feel it.

**AN - I highly DOUBT my Quinn would let me propose to her but it worked in this story.. oh gosh, all emotional now.. R&R please peace xxx**


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